Good Guys Still Exist

 

Over and over again, I’ve heard my friends say, “There’s no good guys left in this world.” And over and over again, I agreed with them; until one day, I stopped and realized, maybe the problem wasn’t with the guys, but in fact, with the guys I willingly surrounded myself with.

That was a hard pill to swallow. It was always easier to blame my past tumultuous relationships on the guys I dated, than it was to admit that I kept putting myself into these situations. I also realized that the standards you set for your friends and for the people you date, says a lot about how you value yourself. For me, I started asking: Why did I surround myself with men that cared more about their IG following than actual human interaction? Why did I date men that treated me so poorly? How did my standards get so low? Why am I sabotaging my own happiness? See, much easier just blaming it on your exes.

How one of my dogs, Alan, would comfort me when I cried after a fight with my ex.

It’s only after I started asking myself these questions, that the lightbulb came on. “Ding ding betch,” my inner voice yells, “She’s on to something!” (I’ve always imagined my inner-voice/conscience to be a really sassy gay man, who’s always right, but knows I’ll never listen). Once I stopped projecting this belief that all men were either jerks or assholes, and took a step back to evaluate the men that were influencing this belief – I learned real quick the issue lied within my own personal decisions.

After quitting my job and moving across the country for someone I loved, he realized it “wasn’t working for him” after 3 weeks of living together. These boxes pretty much contained my entire life. This is the first photo I took in my new place after moving out of his house.

What am I trying to get at here? Instead of rehashing the “there’s no good guys left” line, change up the scenery. Ask yourself some hard questions. After my last break up, I knew something had to change. And from that moment on, I changed up my routine. I axed the dating apps; I stopped going to clubs; I stopped feeling guilty for saying no to jerks; I joined a club and met awesome new people; I went grocery shopping instead of having them delivered – random, I know, but hot tip: Whole Foods has some incredibly friendly and attractive men cruising up and down those aisles. I told you, I changed A LOT. With a different scenery came different people, and it was so refreshing to see that if I just left my little bubble of douchery, there was a whole wide world of good, amazing, thoughtful, respecting men.

This is me, unapologetically happy. After all the heartbreak, bad relationships, and mistakes – I learned from the past, grew and finally changed my scenery.

So ladies and/or gentlemen, if you find yourself saying, “There’s no good men left,” please head to the Whole Foods cheese department and see the un-brie-leavable possibilities… SORRY, I HAD TO! On a more serious note, stop rehashing that dreadful line. Good men exist, you just have to ditch the bad boys in order to see the light.

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