I did it. I quit my job. I’ve left my full-time position in corporate America to pursue my passion and start my own business. How do I feel about it? Ecstatic! …And utterly and equally terrified. But before I dive into the roller coaster of entrepreneurial emotions, lets back up a little bit.
How it started
It all began at the beginning of this year. I was pulling into the office parking lot after the holidays, and just felt completely drained. Mentally and physically. As I sat in my car, I asked myself, why am I so exhausted? Sure, I had just endured a move (new place – same city), and holiday travels, but this exhaustion was something else… Just then, my thoughts were interrupted by my phone buzzing with a flurry of emails from the office. I grabbed my coffee, and headed inside.
Throughout the day, I kept racking my brain, but still couldn’t identify my source for this troubling exhaustion. I packed up, said my goodbyes, and headed home. I arrived to my usual attack of slobbery kisses, and proceeded to jump into routine: Walk dogs, Feed dogs, Play with dogs, Laundry, Pour glass of wine, and sit down for the evening to work on my site; this site – Cooking for Everyone. As I struggled to keep my eyes open while learning how to code into the wee hours of the night (thanks Youtube!), the lightbulb finally came on.
Epiphany
For over a year, I had been working an insane amount of hours per week at the office, and then used whatever time I had free to work on Cooking for Everyone in the evenings and weekends. Now this isn’t me whining, saying woe is me, this was my choice to spend my time this way. I knew that if I wanted to start my own business and be an entrepreneur, it would take blood, sweat and tears (and time!). But it had finally taken its toll on me, and I realized I needed to make some tough choices. Here’s the thing, I loved my corporate job. I had a great team, and the office itself had beer on tap – I mean, pretty awesome right? But you know what else is pretty awesome? Taking a chance on yourself. But, when it came down to it, was I ready to give up the stability of my career to jump into my own projects and business? Did I believe in myself enough?
This was the question I woke up to every morning, and the thought that put me to sleep. Did I believe in myself enough?
As the months went by and April arrived, I knew it was now or never. I needed to decide whether to leave my job, or, give up the site. I know some of you may wonder, why not continue both? Because, I’m a workaholic + perfectionist and I can’t half-ass anything. If the site was going to continue on, I needed to give it 100% of my time and effort. Or at least, more than I could while still being a full-time employee.
After a couple days of stress, sleepless nights and countless phone calls to family and friends for advice, I needed an evening with a nice cocktail and my thoughts. There’s nothing like a crisp cucumber martini to help solve life’s conundrums! Deep down, I knew what I wanted. But for some reason, I just kept doubting myself. But after enjoying a couple cocktails, and the most loving conversation from my incredibly supportive boyfriend (more on him later!), I had made up my mind.
It’s now or never
I walked into the office, absolutely sick to my stomach with nerves – but there was no turning back! I walked into my boss’ office, and sat across from him with what I can only describe as an awkward half-smile and a folder with my resignation letter in it. He didn’t expect it, which made it harder. But after explaining that although I loved my job, I needed to give my own thing a try. Because, if I never tried, I’d always wonder what could have been.
So here I am! Determined to succeed, and excited to move forward in this new chapter in my life. I don’t know what’s going to happen, and I don’t have all the answers. And yes, at times it scares me. But the excitement outweighs the nerves, and I just gotta do me. Life is short. Do what makes you happy! Find your passion, and chase it.
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