Lost Love

From what I’ve heard from older generations, to what I’ve seen with my own two eyes, dating has drastically changed over the last few decades. We live in a generation where not only tangible items can easily be replaced (thank you Amazon Prime), now people can be too. Whether that’s through connecting via social media, or using a website or dating app, the availability to replace our emptiness with another human, is as easy as swiping right or clicking enter on a keyboard.

In a generation of go-getters, why are we so lazy when it comes to love? Something that’s crucial to our happiness and overall joy in life. Are we just sacrificing our humanity for quick fixes and cheap thrills? Some may argue the opposite. That this generation is saturated with entitled youngsters, and in turn, expect love to come easy without putting in the effort. I think it could be a mix of both; people pursuing multiple people on multiple platforms, only to be too lazy to put in the effort to nurture one of those relationships.

Another reason I find love to be lost is because of the fake ideals shoved down our throats, daily. We see on social media the ‘perfect couple’, the ‘hottest girl’, the ‘most charming boy’, and think, that’s who I want to meet and date. SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT REAL. You see highlights of someone’s life on a public platform; while it may look incredible for the gram, that one picture/post does not encompass the entirety of that person. There is more than meets the eye to the girl that posts #blessed, or the couple that posts #couplegoals. We need to stop basing our ideal partner off of the fake reality of social media. I’m not saying don’t have standards, have them! For the love of all things holy, have standards! But don’t ruin your chances of meeting someone great because they don’t project a certain lifestyle on social media.

Since people are easy to replace, it’s hard to really let our feelings take their natural course. We even make fun of this concept with memes, music, tweets, etc. “I almost caught the feels” and “She’s got me in my feelings”. We’ve made having feelings a bad thing, like they’re something to be ashamed about. And without feelings, we lose empathy. How does the other person feel? How can we empathize with someone that we’ve “ghosted” or disregarded because we find the new, next fix on Tinder? We can’t.

Whether it’s entitlement, laziness, lack of empathy, or projections of fake reality, something’s gotta change. If you are heartbroken, heal. If you are lonely, find a hobby. If you crave human companionship, volunteer. Instead of jumping back into a relationship (or bed), take time to reflect and learn more about yourself. What makes you happy? I’ve found if you’re happy and content with yourself, the need for jumping on dating apps, or sliding into DMs slowly fades. Stop looking for quick fixes to repair something that needs constant nurturing and attention; you.

Thoughts on today’s dating scene?

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